I found out today that I might be able to get my job back at Michaels for a seasonal position. That would be completely ideal since seasonal ends in February basically, around when I'm due. It would be really helpful to be able to work for the next few months and earn some money while getting out of the house. I feel like I'm going crazy here sometimes and I just want out. The only problem is there is no where else I'd rather be at right now.
Anyway back to the panic, when I talked to my boyfriend about me maybe getting the job, something dawned on me. If he isn't able to get a job before I have to leave Michaels, I'll have to go back to work right after having the baby. That is not something I want, or feel capable, of doing. I have separation anxiety already and the baby hasn't even left my womb. Is something wrong with me or is my thinking rational? I am not religious in any way shape or form, but for lack of a better word I PRAY that my boyfriend is able to find a steady job with decent pay before baby comes.
I cannot for the life of me imagine having to spend so much time away from the baby, while he would be forming such a tight bond. I am not trying to be mean or greedy with our child, but I feel that it is more reasonable to think that he should work after I have the baby. Plus, I am very strong willed about strictly breastfeeding. How on earth would I manage to do that while I'm working? Ugh...
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